Watermelaina

I'm falling so I'm taking my time on my ride :] Sometimes sleep is my enemy. Not because I can't claim it for my own, Though sometimes that is the case. But because It claims me and tortures me relentlessly. The sandman loves my brain Two mad scientists cooking up schemes all night Trauma, confusion, pain A soup of words less spoken Tonight I feel a calm, a numbness. I woke up this morning with my eyes closed I sleep tonight with my mind open. The moon's protection will not reach me The heroes of my heart ride with me on my train They distract me from the titans of anxiety Who lurk beneath the waves of my consciousness They deposit me on a cloud Higher and Higher I float Closer and Closer to the sun I watch the stars explode around me The horizon splits It's morning. The dust of another battle won Flutters off my lashes The pain of another battle won settles into my joints, my tissues. The sun's inspiration will not reach me T...

In solitude she laments Near the warmth of the lamp she looks to the stars gratefully. For she has her hands and her heart and her head To create the world she wants to see. In darkness she lies she thought only for a while but emerges as years have gone by. And though she was safe, in her head and her heart Her hands have not felt the earth or the sky In a glass box she sits with books and with pens watching the people run and dance She stands and she screams She shatters the glass She's giving the real world a chance She stumbles, she falls. She's scraped and she's bruised. She smiles and she laughs all the same. She's scared but she knows That everyone is too she's taking her time down her unique path her special lane. 

"I should just say fuck it and be happy instead...right?" I'm doing my best I Still find myself stressed.  I'm opening up  wanna shut the full cup.  I'm down on my knees I still like when you tease.  I'm going away Do you want me to stay?

Freedom  That's what love is, or what it should be but it feels like a cage used for torture. The moment I met you there was something implanted into me. You nurtured this gift and it bloomed into beautiful wings.  I flew like it was naturally the only thing I was born to do. But then one day I fell and I haven't been so lucky to be healed and free again. Now I'm shackled in a 'safe space'.  It's like a blind covering a pristine glass window and consuming an otherwise bright room in crummy pseudo-darkness.  In the dark I glare at the rays of light from the small cracks in the blind which hit my skin. Golden and persistent they warm me.  I want certainty. Am I dark or light? The wings do not know me anymore. Not like they know you. They flap and flutter a dance of longing for you who never settles.  You come and you go as you displease. With every step away from me I feel my wings being pulled out of my back.  The pai...

Wine.  White or Red?  I spilt it on my bed. In my saddest hour It gives me creative powers  Tangy liquids make me too heavy to get up and search for you  it's true when I'm blue that's what I do.  The Red numbs my pain  The white drowns my sorrow  The glass, clear as rain  Do it again Tomorrow.