Watermelaina

Wine.  White or Red?  I spilt it on my bed. In my saddest hour It gives me creative powers  Tangy liquids make me too heavy to get up and search for you  it's true when I'm blue that's what I do.  The Red numbs my pain  The white drowns my sorrow  The glass, clear as rain  Do it again Tomorrow. 

The world in general is huge but mine is comfortably small. That’s how I like it and that’s how I wanted it.  But now that a piece of my world has removed itself I feel crippled. I feel like I woke up with only one arm and i’m terrified and unbalanced. It’s not the end of the world and theoretically in this case my arm might grow back but until then…. I can’t clap when I’m impressed I can’t hug someone I love I dream about my arm I dream about the simplest things that I miss Like buttoning a shirt or doing a ponytail in my hair I’m consumed with thoughts of finding my arm or finding a new arm when I know I should be broadening my world so it doesn’t feel like my arm is what’s missing anymore. HOW though. To me this is impossible. Love is a selfish thing. I don’t want you to go but I don’t nourish you when you stay. I don’t want to be like this but I don’t know how to change. I don’t want to be hated by you but what’s worse is I don’t want to be nothi...