My World

The world in general is huge but mine is comfortably small. That’s how I like it and that’s how I wanted it.  But now that a piece of my world has removed itself I feel crippled. I feel like I woke up with only one arm and i’m terrified and unbalanced.

It’s not the end of the world and theoretically in this case my arm might grow back but until then….
I can’t clap when I’m impressed
I can’t hug someone I love
I dream about my arm
I dream about the simplest things that I miss
Like buttoning a shirt or doing a ponytail in my hair

I’m consumed with thoughts of finding my arm or finding a new arm when I know I should be broadening my world so it doesn’t feel like my arm is what’s missing anymore.

HOW though.
To me this is impossible.

Love is a selfish thing.
I don’t want you to go but I don’t nourish you when you stay.
I don’t want to be like this but I don’t know how to change.
I don’t want to be hated by you but what’s worse is I don’t want to be nothing to you at all.

You’re so strong and I know you’ll be fine and I know I’ll be happy that you’re fine.
I’m crippled.

And that’s fine.

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